[me]
# jOaNnA
# 24+ yrs old
# GoD's beLoVeD
# 22021986
# cps>cgss>vjc>ntu(cs) - ebm

[Loves]
_ Jesus _
_ Basketball _
_ Cycling _
_ Singing _
_ Watching TV _
_ Kpop - SNSD/4minute _

[my wishlist]
:: SNSD Concert DVD ::
:: All things SNSD related ::
:: Macbook Pro/iMac ::
:: digital camera ::
:: new crumpler ::
:: all max lucado's books ::
:: new watch ::
:: SM Town / Kpop Night ::

[max lucado books i own]
1. Next Door Savior
2. It's Not About Me
3. On The Anvil
4. He Did It Just For You
5. Travelling Light
6. Cure for the Common Life
7. An Angel's Story
8. A Love Worth Giving
9. Cast of Characters
10. Fearless

[L.I.N.K.S]
:: 4 NoiSy N ::
:: XiaNg ::
:: mAgDaLeNe ::
:: vJc bBaLL ::
:: cyNtHia ::
:: sUe aNn ::
:: beAtRiCe ::
:: eE biNg ::
:: zaHiDaH ::
:: miC kOh ::
:: eLaiNe ::
:: jAsMiN ::
:: gEoK sHaN ::
:: cAmeLLiA ::
:: aVeLiNe ::
:: xUe LiN ::

[archive]
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
June 2007
September 2007
November 2007
May 2010


Saturday, April 30, 2005

Praise God!!! i got into NTU mass comm...really God's grace!!! for someone who's GP was merely C5..i got into mass comm!!! :)

was actually quite worried yesterday night..jus b4 i got home..sue ann called me & told me that her mum called her telling her that she got a letter from NTU..& that yan wei got a letter too..so i was jus praying hard when i got into e lift..reaching home..i immediately see tat my mum is home..which shld mean that she took letters up..so i search the pile of unread letters but i din find what i was hoping.. :( i even called sue to tell her i din get e letter...& she "comforted" me..but guess wat? my mum actually din open e letterbox..those letters were e day b4 ones...so i got e keys & rush downstairs..praying as i go along..& there lying inside was my acceptance letter from NTU!!! Praise God!! He never disappoints!!!

it was really by His grace that i got in..besides e fact that i din hv a good grade for GP, i was randomly choosing e answers for e mcq test they set up, scribbling crap in e essay test on s'pore media, & i was late for the interview!!! when i went in for e interview, e 2 interviewers told me they interviewed e person scheduled after me cos they waited 10 mins for me but i din turn up..haha...so after e test & interview..i just told God, "Lord, there's nothing i can do abt it..only You can change everything..if You can't do anything..who else can, right? but i know You will always have a plan for me..if mass comm is not my calling..then it's not cos it's all in Your plan for me." & WOAH!!! He really knows that i wanna be in mass comm..He's just so so so good!!! ;p

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |12:27 AM|

Thursday, April 28, 2005

was jus reading mer air's blog & felt so so so hurt..i was jus merely commenting abt her absence from our hse..& her studying..& she say i was critising her..HELLO! i would hv asked her out if i'm not wking 7 days a week lor..i need to rest too...To think i always go visit her at AH that time when she's still wking there..& that is so far from our hse lor..& saying i miss her or something..hey..it's bcos you always say u're coming hm but din come back at the very last minute lor...i excitedly go home to see you but wait till 12pm you're still not hm lor..& din even call hm to say so..make me wait for nothing...& dote on us was when we're young..you always say you spent a lot of $$ on us..you "cheated" me of $500 aka our nv-gg-to-come computer lor...ya ya..you'll always tell me "you're wking now ma.."..ya see..NOW..that issue was when i'm still studying lor...talk abt $$...wat crap....but hey..kinship is not abt $$ lor..it's abt time spent together...& accused me of something that's so not true..& i always write her small notes or letters...she din even "reply" to any of them lor....

berber is another one..yes..she stays at home..but only come hm to sleep..& the stupid incident that happened bcos of her dumb n irritating bf...i wont say wat it was cos it's too personal..but i wont forget...maybe that's why he seldom come now....

sometimes i really wish i dun hv sisters..but then again..i love them no matter wat...

Arrgh!!!!!!!!!!!! :(

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |5:15 AM|

haha..must be wat i'm saying..cos my room..or rather the room i share with my sisters is now quite empty..cos we threw away the double deck bed...now we officially sleep on the floor...hhaha..but quite nice..become like a big bed when the mattresses r put together...gg to re-vamp our room..haha..with wat's left in it...can "fa hui" my interior designing talent..haha..my desire to be one anyway.... ;p

anyway..empty inside cos i think i'm leading a meaningless life now..wk n wk n wk..so boring...& i'm not even learning stuff like in sch..though i dun like sch too...haha...wat am i saying? haha...

anyway monday went to eat pizza hut with mer air, berber & biao jie..think it's the first time we 4 went out together...haha..so weird but fun! then went kbox with ber n biaojie while mer air go study with her fren..haha..so funny..we were all singing songs from jj, jay chou & cantonese songs..& the best was this old cantonese song by xu guan jie called "half gold eight two" from literal translation from cantonese..it was so funny..we kept laughing..it was actually a song in my dad's generation...i keep hearing it when i was a kid...but fun to sing..
i wanna go KBOX again..haha...

gg to work later..yawns... ;p

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |2:53 AM|

Sunday, April 24, 2005

yawns..so tired..wk till 10+ yesterday & only went to sleep at 1+ this morn..haha..cos i was watching Oliver Twist..it's a very long ago show cum musical that me n my sisters watch as a kid..been searching for it for like 10yrs..& mer air finally found the vcd!! so was happily watching it yesterday though i was super tired.. ;p was actually feeling quite sad yesterday..i also duno why..jus suddenly can't joke ard like i normally do..almost started crying during praise & worship yesterday...but decide not to..cos i hafta wk after that..haha..hmm..maybe cos i gave up a $7/hr job for my team leader...if i take that job..it's like an extra $160 a month..only mag knows wat's e job..hopefully she get that job & earn more..then maybe she'll be happier..it's hard wking 7 days a week la..but it's only for a month or 2...so mag..jiayou!

now at office..gonna wk from 9am to 9pm today..9 to 1 @ office & 130 to 9 @ bkshop..hopefully bkshop not gg to hv lots of ppl..hmm..today can't go meet sue ann they all bcos of wk..but nvm..haha..cos not many girls gg..& they're gg kbox i think..so doesn't matter..cos it's not like i'll wanna sing in front of the guys...most ppl in my class would think i'm a more "guy" person..cos i'm the only sports girl in class..& i'm definitely not super girly..but i'm not lor..haha..sometimes i feel so alone..in class..i'm jus a loner but with lots of ppl ard..

Xiang..remember in yr1 when ur fren wrote u a letter & u read a part of it aloud?e part abt hving lots of ppl ard a person, & who seem to hv such good frens with that person but actually the person is jus a loner? think that applies to me..

anyway..like xiang says..went to watch 2 matches @ SBC..really wanna play again! the feeling on court is so wonderful..hmm..xiang says if her team gg to become 5..she get me to be ball controller..well i'll definitely take it..but do i wanna be point guard again?haha..actually i still prefer my sec sch position-forward..but coach tattoo made me point guard..it's stressful u know..so many things to remember...haiz..duno la...honestly i think i'm jus an extra in my teams..in Cedar..i was useful cos i assist julie & run well with my best partner, zuibadah..but i dun score much...in vj..yr 1 cos i could replace ally..i know i'm not supposed to feel that way..cos violet said that to me..but hey..come on..if ally wasn't injured..i wouldn't be on the team in yr1..my skill was horrible compared to the rest..in yr 2 cos i know i'm e only yr 2 point guard..who can remember the plays for mic to score...seriously..WHO AM I? i'm jus like an extra in ppl's life..there to highlight ppl's lives but not my own...nothing to my own name...

maybe that's e reason i like the song i included in this post..i hv no idea who i am..but my Lord knows me personally..including me in His plan..thank you Lord..that You love me as i am..a nobody to others & even myself..but a somebody to You..

P.S. Anna introduced this song to me..it's by Casting Crowns..

Who Am I?

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You're

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

I am Yours
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
'Cause I am Yours
I am Yours

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |1:10 AM|

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

continue from previous post..

Well..i'll jus say that for the 4yrs i'm there, she was there too..she jus graduate from NIE to be a teacher when i was in sec 1 & she became my form teacher..her loving character was wat brought my sec 1 class to be better in science..(haha..cos e previous one was super strict..) & thru out this 4 yrs..she was there to advice me whenever i need it..& she loves bball too..haha...and i still keep in contact with her...her encouragement everytime made my day..from a "wu2 zi1 shao1 nian2" to the hopefully more mature me now..she was with me in my growing up days & she help me grow more & more in the family of Christ..

Another teacher i'll always remember is Ms Hor..now known as Mrs. Tan..erm..the relationship i had with her was like friends more than teacher-student..but sometimes..most of the time actually..i think i bugged her too much..haha..& she was always busy teaching ppl chem..ppl in my batch would know wat i mean..she stayed in sch to tutor us almost everyday..& on sats too..& i'm sure lots of ppl are grateful to her for their good chem grades..i'm definitely one...i shan't say more cos only peishan knows abt other stuffs.. ;p

well..there's lots of cedar teachers for me to talk abt..probably cos 3N/4N was a "gossip" class..the "love triangle" between Ms Chiam, Ms Tan & Mr Sim..the "GIRL AH!" + "wide grin" of Mdm Lum aka L union M..the forever sacarstic Mdm Faridah...Still remember teachers' day in 2002..we composed songs for these teachers...something i'll remember all my life..

VJC: well..i dun hv much to say cos i dun really like them..Hee..Worth mentioning ones are Mr.Young..my GP teacher who really fun & slack..Ms Ding..my maths+fmaths teacher..i like her way of teaching..Mr.Teo..my fmaths droppy class teacher..he can really teach..+ he has a broadcaster wife...haha....& Ms.Tan..my fav teacher who's in charge of bball in j1..erm..& Mr.Tan..he's really strict..but he made us train physically quite the correct way..& i thank him for that..

well..that's all the teachers basically...nice but weird bunch of ppl..

oh ya..the SMU interview was horrible..haha..basically cos i duno my own stuffs so i was really crapping & he obviously was not impressed..but who cares la..it's in the hands of God..my ntu interview is in his hands too...i can't do anything..If God can't do it..who can?!?!?! but God always hv a plan for me..if it's not my calling..& it's not lor...

bBall..went to watch the juniors match against hcjc yesterday..we lost la..but it's ok..fight on!!! we will proof to them that vj bball is a champion team..Watching Coach Carter made me realised that determination to win & training as a team is really impt..& i would like to thank our Coach Tattoo (haha..;p) for leading us & coaching me all those skills i din know..it's so good to be back at the courts..even when i'm not playing..& believe..it's a happy day!

I WANNA PLAY BBALL AGAIN!!! & BE HAPPY ON COURT!!!

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |4:07 AM|

Saturday, April 16, 2005

haha..i just saw in the new paper abt this article on relief teachers..& guess who i saw? SIVA..our vj student council president..apparantly there's this one teacher who slapped a 10 yrs old boy..& there's so many incidents that relief teachers encounter that will blow them up..u shld read it if u hv the time..anyway..

Xiang: it seems like e classes u're teaching is not that bad afterall..haha..at least not like those in the papers..& i hope u'll not slap them though u feel like it..

Ally: u shld thank God u're teaching in vj..they may not pay attention..but they know their wk & dun disturb u that much..haha...

hmm..talking abt teachers..let's start with K1..

K1 + K2 : my teacher was a fat lady..who look quite fierce but was actually not..she's my eldest sis teacher too..& after like 10 yrs..she's my little cousin's teacher too..but she died about 3 yrs ago..but it was fun times then..cos i always get 1st in class...i still remember i got this toy train set in K1 for being 1st & back home..no one can cross e living room without hving to walk over my train & it's track..haha..

Primary: six yrs..& my most remembered ones were Ms Chan & Mrs Quek..
Ms Chan was my P4 form teacher..a very gentle & pretty lady..but my class & e next door class made up this rumour that she's gg out with e male form teacher next door..haha..it was jus silly times...
Mrs Quek was my P5 & P6 form teacher..b4 being taught by her..e 1st 4yrs of pri sch was lived hearing abt her fierceness..u can hear her across ard 3 classrooms..but she din turn out to be such a terror..she was quite nice actually..& a caring teacher too..still remembered gg to her hse at Jalan Kayu in sec one with a few of my P6 classmates..Wah..it's a bungalow..& it's duno how many times bigger than my pathetic 3 room flat where my family had to squeeze...

Secondary: fours years of fun & growing up with Mrs Lim..haha..why i say "growing up"..i'll continue in my next post...it's a long long story......

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |7:52 AM|

On 14/04/05, during thursday bible study..i casted all my cares into God's hands..He will take care of it..No..He had already planned it for me & i need not worry..whether i'm gg into nus, ntu or smu & watever course i'm taking..God had already plan for me..
& my backache problem..it's already healed in Jesus' name..Praise God!!!

He is ALMIGHTY GOD..if He can't..who can? rite? but He will definitely do it cos He cares so much for us..& there's nothing impossible with the Holy Spirit in me..Amen.

YAWNS...i'm so tired..still gotta work later..but nvm..it's fun..
anyway meeting mag later to go wk together..she to sizzler n me to rock...
hai..at 1st wanna meet me for lunch..but she duno how to get to amoy street food market..
so we'll jus go suntec together... ;p

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |12:18 AM|

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

hmm..talking to anna yesterday really made me realised how different my life was before & after i know Christ & how blessed i am to be made a new creation in Him. How amazing life is when He's living in me..though i'm tired from wking..but He had given me internal rest....

hmm..very long nv blog..e past week was so long...

tues: work + work... :(

wed: work at office..then took half day off to go SMU to pay the stupid application fee...go all e way to SMU to pay $15..wat a waste of time...took more than an hour to get there n get out of SMU area..but only spent like 2mins in the office...[but i'm shortlisted for the interview..got a call on friday telling me to go for interview on 13th..hope i'll do ok then... ;p]

thurs: work + work till 1030pm...reached hm at 11++ :(

fri: work + go for BS..then i when to biao jie's hse...went to watch Amazing Race..Hee...nice nice show!
i wanna travel around the world too!!!!! anyway after that started watching "jin pai bing ren"..it's a cantonese drama..*ting u watch b4?*

sat: woke up quite late but still wanna continue watching "jin pai bing ren"..hee..finally got drove out of biao jie's hse to go work..but thank God..e bus was fast so i even got time to buy breakfast for myself & hot babe..then wk till 9pm...so tired..cannot go for combined meeting also..but yvonne biaojie bought e cd for me! yeah!

sun: was to go 1st service but too lazy to get up..went for 2nd instead..then wk till 9pm...after that went to eat dinner(can consider supper la..cos it's 10plus pm le..) with val hot babe, pretty anna & da ge ge chee wah...
had a great time fellowshipping with them... ;p

today: wk + gg to book shop later to accompany anna..& to teach her closing...

it's gg to be another long week...haiz....

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |7:20 AM|

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

haiz..i haven wk more than a week in this "7 days-work" routine & it's already taking it's toil on me...
i'm so sleepy...& i still hafta go work later!!!

haven been sleeping well..my old backaches are back..now i always wake up in e middle of e night..like 2plus in e morning...then after like one hour then can get back to sleep...can't even sleep well..sucks..

thinking of taking half day off tmr to go pay e SMU application fee & to go make my passport..
i'm supposed to be very excited abt june's ben-gen camp..but i'm too tired to be overly excited.... :(

I WANT TO
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..............................
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...............................

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |4:14 AM|

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

this song was sang during easter sunday service...Really really meaningful...Read the words..

Watch The Lamb
Words and music by Ray Boltz


Walking on the road to Jerusalem
The time had come to sacrifice again
My two small sons,
They walked beside me on the road
The reason that they came
Was to watch the lamb

CHORUS:
Daddy, daddy what will we see there?
There's so much we don't understand
So I told them of Moses
And Father Abraham
And then I said,
Dear children, Watch the lamb

For there will be so many

In Jerusalem today
We must be sure the lamb
Doesn't run away
And I told them of Moses
And Father Abraham
And then I said,
Dear children,
Watch the lamb

When we reached the city
I knew something must be wrong
There were no joyful worshippers
No joyful worship songs
I stood there with my children
In the midst of angry men
And then I heard the crowd cry out,
Crucify Him

We tried to leave the city

But we could not get away
Forced to play in this drama,
A part I did not wish to play
Why upon this day
Were men condemned to die?
Why were we standing here
Where soon they would pass by?

I look and said,
Even now they come
The first one cried for mercy,
The people gave him none
The second one was violent,
He was arrogant and loud
I still can hear his angry voice
Screaming at the crowd

Then someone said,

There's Jesus!
And I scarce believed my eyes
A man so badly beaten,
He barely looked alive
Blood poured from His body,
From the thorns upon His brow
Running down the cross
And falling to the ground

I watched Him as He struggled
I watched Him as He fell
The cross came down upon His back,
The crowd began to yell
In that moment I felt such agony
In that moment I felt such loss
Until a Roman soldier grab
bed my arm
And screamed,
You, carry His cross!

At first I tried to resist him

Then his hand reached for his sword
And so I knelt and took
The cross from the Lord
I placed it on my shoulder
And started down the street
The blood that He'd been shedding
Was running down my cheek

They led us to Golgotha
They drove nails
Deep in His feet and hands
And yet upon the cross
I heard Him pray, Father forgive them
Oh, never have I seen such love
In any other eyes
Into they hands I commit My spirit,
He prayed and then He died

I stood for what seemed like years

I'd lost all sense of time
Until I felt two tiny hands
Holding tight to mine
My children stood there weeping
I heard the oldest say
Father, please forgive us
The lamb ran away

Daddy, daddy what have we seen here?
There's so much
That we don't understand
So I took them in my arms
And we turned and faced the cross
And then I said,
Dear children, watch the Lamb

there is another beautiful song written by Karen..Called "Rejoice O Israel"...if u hv time go listen to it at http://www.newcreation.org.sg/minmusic4.htm
it's sang by Adeline..I love this song....

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |7:48 AM|

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Oh my God! i'm gg to wk 7 days a week starting from 1st April!!! hopefully i'll get enuf sleep n dun mess up my wk!!

i'm gg to be permanent part time at e bookshop, Rock Gifts & Book Centre (RGBC)..so i'm gg to wk more each week instead of e usual sundays only...then..i'm still keeping this admin job..but i'll wk one hour less each day & not wk on sat...so my wking days r as follow:

Office @ shenton way..Monday to Friday: 9am to 5pm..

RGBC @ suntec....

Schedule A & Schedule B:
Monday: no work & no work
Tuesday: 6pm to 9pm & no work
Wednesday: no work & 6pm to 9pm
Thursday:6pm to 1030pm & no work
Friday: no work & 6pm to 1030pm
Saturday: 11am to 9pm & 11am to 430pm
Sunday: 1230pm to 9pm & 11am to 9pm

basically i dun hv time for myself..& i dun get to do e things i'll wanna do..how?! i wanna play ball..but got no time..i wanna shop..also got not much time..e only confirmed free time is Monday evenings..which is not much..but at least i get to watch desperate housewives..haha...
so ppl who see this..wanna ask me to go out..pls find a good timing...if not u're gg to be rejected again & again...haha...

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |4:48 AM|