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# jOaNnA
# 24+ yrs old
# GoD's beLoVeD
# 22021986
# cps>cgss>vjc>ntu(cs) - ebm
_ Jesus _
_ Basketball _
_ Cycling _
_ Singing _
_ Watching TV _
_ Kpop - SNSD/4minute _
:: SNSD Concert DVD ::
:: All things SNSD related ::
:: Macbook Pro/iMac ::
:: digital camera ::
:: new crumpler ::
:: all max lucado's books ::
:: new watch ::
:: SM Town / Kpop Night ::
1. Next Door Savior
2. It's Not About Me
3. On The Anvil
4. He Did It Just For You
5. Travelling Light
6. Cure for the Common Life
7. An Angel's Story
8. A Love Worth Giving
9. Cast of Characters
10. Fearless
:: 4 NoiSy N ::
:: XiaNg ::
:: mAgDaLeNe ::
:: vJc bBaLL ::
:: cyNtHia ::
:: sUe aNn ::
:: beAtRiCe ::
:: eE biNg ::
:: zaHiDaH ::
:: miC kOh ::
:: eLaiNe ::
:: jAsMiN ::
:: gEoK sHaN ::
:: cAmeLLiA ::
:: aVeLiNe ::
:: xUe LiN ::
February 2005
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May 2010
Monday, November 27, 2006
being in campus for ard 2.5 yrs..
this HM6 is actually my 1st HM cos e last camp was ben-gen camp..
& back then..i haven entered e NTU family...
so i was so looking forward to e camp..
way before HM6 was even officially announced..
but then..as HM6 registration opens...
i ask God where to get the $220...
by my own efforts...
i save n save....
and think of more ways to save up...
and then...
registration closed.
we were not able to get a room cos we din hv e cheque...
thou placed on e waiting list...
it was still a :( thing cos we were NOT confirm going...
sometimes i wonder do i doubt God...
but i decide to just believe that with whatever tiny as mustard seed faith i have..
to just "Amen" with dot n yz that we dun hv to worry...
God will bring us there...
i can only be amazed by dot's faith when she tell us that Jesus had already brought us there..
she said that she can see us screaming n having e time of our lives there in OUR ROOM!!!
for me..heh...i can only offer "amen".
but all we can do is wait.
as time passes...e camp comm ppl called yz..
she's in! i was so happy for her!
but what about me?
i still can only wait to get in...
my greatest concern was not e finances anymore...
but if i can go for camp...
as more time passes...they called dot..
she's in too! i was happy for her too..
but can i be real here? 50% of me was thinking..
"God..why is it not me?!"
hahah...then i thot to myself:
why tim ang placed my name last among e 3 of us in e waiting list..
why do i have to wait so long?
what if e cut off line was at dot? then me lei?
i can only tell God that i'll be so satisfied to just go for camp..
as more n more time passes...yingling finally called me!!
she called me on sat morning...
i was so so so so happy!!!
haha...just exclaimed out loud to lindsay, amber n weiyi who were with me at kbox...
even told them that nothing can make me sad that day...
haha..but that's quite wrong...
cos i realised e stupid devil then start to play in my mind again...
think that's why i was so sad n felt so lousy b4 united concert...
was really thinking why am i feeling sad when i shldn't be!
i'm gg for HM6 lei!!!! hahhaa....well..i also duno why i was so emotional yesterday...
but anyway...i was to pass yingling my idemity form n e cheque today...
so yesterday i asked lindsay to help me write e cheque n i'll pass her e money...
but u know what? i dun hv $220 in my bank...
so i sms my 2nd sis to transfer e $100 allowance she gives me by today...
all i was doing..was out of my own effort...
but God dun want that..
He brought me to camp..He'll pay for it..
b4 3rd svc today..yingling told me that someone had already paid for my camp fees..
i was SHOCKED!!!
hahah...think i was so stunned that yingling asked me "are you ok?"
God is truly so so so so so awesome!!!
all i asked was to get into camp...
but God ALWAYS answers exceedingly abundantly above all that i can ask or think...
i'm so so so so blessed!!!
hahah...i was so touched that i just cried.
haha..but this time..crying cos of over-happiness...
lindsay ask me "how does it feel to hv someone pay for ur fees?"
me "i duno..haha...just wow! wow! wow!"
it's something that i cannot describe...
i felt that i can just float cos i was so "high"
i can only say..
[WOW!!!!] to the power of infinity! :)
anyway...just wanna say that God is truly a good God..
He knows that i cannot..
no matter how much i work..
i can never pay all that i am supposed to..
if i pay all... i think i'll just have to live on drinking plain water..
but everytime i have a financial need...
God is there to meet it..
He may seem slow..but He's always...ALWAYS on time!
i'm so so so so so so so blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and you know what's e best thing?
i remembered that i told God that e very start b4 registration even opens..
that how nice if someone was to bless me with e camp fees..
i mean i'm sure everyone wants that...it's like every campers' desire..hahah...
and i only TOLD God..maybe just a 5 sec prayer..
so i was so amazed that God remembered...
and it all happened so suddenly!
There is a word that i want to deposit in you through God's word that you can hang onto for the rest of your life, and i hope you never forget it. it is the word "suddenly".
Sometimes when you have lived with something in your life a long, long time, you get to the point that you can limp along with it and go on about your business at the same time. But God heard those prayers that you prayed about the situation, and He remembers them. Then suddenly He move in your life and deliver you in a way that will just amaze you. i believe we need to expect God to move suddenly!
-- From Joyce Meyer's Expect a Move of God in Your Life...Suddenly!
i bought this book a few months back i think...and i was telling Daddy that i wanna experienced that "suddenly" thing..and WOW! He is truly amazing...my financial situation really turned around so suddenly! i felt so rich currently! hahaha....nv felt so rich before...
and not only in e natural..but also cos i know i am rich inside...
i can only love You from the inside out.
here..i just wanna say..
Thank You Daddy God.
You are truly amazing...
and You are the only one who can make me feel what i'm feeling now...
thank you to the one who blessed me..
i duno who you are..but i know you are blessed..
ever so richly..
cos only when you are blessed can you be a blessing..
and i'm sure that you are giving out of e abundance that you received from Daddy God.
to those who are trusting God for things..not just in finances...
i wanna encourage you all to just continue trusting..
wait on the Lord..
and dun wait with the "i'll just sit here and be passive" kinda attitude..
wait EXPECTANTLY!!!
to wait is to expect, to look for, to look for with a view to being shown favour.
God said in Psalms 30:5...
His favour is for LIFE!
:)
beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |10:15 AM|
Let us say that a child perceives that a parent is angry. The parent denies that she is angry and insists that the child deny it also. Should the child believe his own senses or believe the parent? If the former, the child maintains a sense of reality but loses the relationship with the parent. If the latter, the child maintains the relationship but distorts reality.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the above passage is actually from one of my textbook (which i'm nv going to touch again!)..
was reading this passage for the first time just a few days back (which explains why i can only ask for mercy for this module..haha...) when i was reminded of THE situation i was in a few weeks back..i dun think it fits fully into this situation..but what i experienced then was double-bind i think...进退两难...double-bind can happen to any 2 ppl i guess...
why are humans so complicated?
beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |1:06 AM|
i shall just let go and rest in You..
let Your peace fill me, that i'll stop thinking about it...
i've never been so stress in my life before i think..
not even before O or A levels...
201 - Communication History and Theories
it's a killer...
so many ppl to study..so many theories to memorise...
and the worst part..i dun see the link between them..
haiz.............................................................
because of it..think i was an extremely grouchy person...
i duno why...i just snapped at my parents n my grandma on monday...
after coming back from studying w mag..
and meeting with e cluster ambs & coach lynne..
i wanted to print something..
then realised that even with the new black ink cartridge..
i cannot print cos e other colors are out..
was so irritated by the printer..
so i just kept complaining n complaining...
i also duno why...
when my parents n grandma offered to give me $$$ to buy..
i just snapped at them and said dun need...
why? cos i know they dun hv much too...
but i cannot help but snap at them..
arrggghh!!!! was so angry with myself..
so angry..i cried...
cried at myself for being irritating...
cried while asking God why He din stop me..
cried & yet complain to others that i'm being irritating..
cried while complaining to Him...
but i thank You Lord...
for having yuanzhen to remind me that there is no more condemnation..
that God dun see my bad n rude behaviour...
He sees Christ...
Christ, my perfect Jesus :)
beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |11:37 PM|
Here's how to story goes..
Lieutenant Chris Burnett (Owen Wilson) is a top naval aviator who is frustrated that fragile geo-politics have kept him from what he knows best: flying F/A-18 Superhornet jets into combat. ‘We’re watching, not fighting,’ he tells Admiral Reigart (Gene Hackman), who thinks Burnett hasn’t really learned what it means to be a soldier.
In this, we are Burnett, and God is Reigart. When we know a skill, we think we're super good at it, and forgot that Daddy God is the one who gave us that talent/taught us the skills.
During a routine reconnaissance mission, Burnett photographs something no one was meant to see and both him and his pilot were shot down.
I can't help thinking that it's us having eaten from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. We came to know something that we were not meant to know. and bcos of knowing, we were being attacked by the devil.
Burnett witnessed the execution of his pilot, and flee when he was discovered. Trapped behind enemy lines, Burnett struggles to survive the relentless pursuit of a ruthless secret police enforcer, a deadly tracker, and countless hostile troops.
After having knowledge, we're trapped or within this stupid boundary where lots of evil spirits are looking for us and trying to bring us down.
With time running out, Reigart makes the wrenching decision to set aside the rules of the tightly-controlled world in which he operates and risks his career to launch a renegade rescue mission to save the life of one soldier.
This is a picture of God. Reigart sacrificed his high ranking position. God sacrificed His Son. Except our Daddy God is obviously more amazing. Reigart was demoted(i think so la..), but God, by sacrificing Jesus, not only did He not lose the heavenly command, He took back the key of this world.
Anyway, in the show, there was this scene where Burnett was trying to escape when he fell into a large muddy pit(or swamp or whatever la..basically it's where lots of bodies were dumped. they had been killed by the ruthless police enforcer & his troops) when the military troop was closing in on him. At the same time, back in the navy ship, Reigart and some of the crew was able to see Burnett as a figure on the radar screen, and also the military troops behind. And when Burnett fell, there was no movement. So they were like "why is he not getting up? is he shot? they're closing in on him."
--- what pastor said today reminded me of this scene. "when he was still a great way off, his father saw him..." Burnett was alone and afraid, he din know Reigart can see him. That's like us. We think we're all alone to handle stuff, we fear and worry, but God sees. Daddy God sees what i'm going through. And the best thing is our Daddy God is God. Reigart can do nothing but watch. Daddy God reaches out and rescue us.---
anyway..to conclude this scene, the military troops din not see Burnett as he covered himself with the dead bodies. All they stabbed and shot at were the dead bodies. So Burnett survived that obstacle.
also, at the scene where the rescue team gathered before setting off to rescue Burnett, Reigart said this, "Let go get our boy back!" In the film, when Burnett 1st contacted the ship, Reigart called him as no. 6 cos that's Burnett's plane no. But when Reigart learned that Burnett was alone, when he slowly realised the danger that Burnett was in, he no longer address Burnett as no. 6, but instead calling him as "my boy". For us, it's even more warming, cos God always sees us as His sons & daughters. so at that scene when he said to "get our boy back", i can imagine God telling Jesus and Holy Spirit,
"Let's go get my beloved boy/girl back."
beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |6:28 PM|