Tuesday, May 23, 2006

have been wking n wking since the end of exams..
but in these few weeks..
i went out lots too...

10 may -
went for steven curtis chapman's concert..
he was awesome!
his songs were very touching..
but i love the fast song "Dive"..
was sitting with the ntu ppl at the back of the audi..
and PP was there too...
he was quite funny..with his hp..

13 may -
had lunch with mum, meh n ber to celebrate mum's bday as well as mothers' day..
but after that i went for campus while they went to shop...
had a mini surprise bday celebration for lydia..
gave her vouchers n SCC cd..
with his signature n him writing "happy birthday lydia"..
after which went to maggie's to eat dinner..
was amusing to watch annie n alvin "quarrel"..
haha..me n timo just watch free show..

14 may -
went to wheelock's nydc with the ntu cg ppl after service at indoor..
lots of ppl went..but really enjoyed the time with timo, yiwei, alvin and God's wonderful princesses - yuanzhen n amber! (maybe cos they were the ones at my side of the long table..haha..)

17 may -
went to town with yuanzhen, tim ang n timo..
haha..was a weird day cos it's the guys buying stuff instead of us girls..
the guys went off 1st to celebrate someone's bday..
but me n yz window shopped till 8plus...
wah..so tired la..my feet was killing me..

19 may -
went back to ntu for cg..
but was a nice journey cos huilin drove me there...
felt so so loved by her..
and favoured by her...
thanks princess!
she was in suntec n so she decided to wait till i get off work..
so sweet right?
so me n coach les took her car..
had a wonderful time during combined praise n worship..
return journey home was also in huilin's car..
she drove me all the way home lor..
so nice of her right?
really thank God for such a wonderful sister to talk to..

20 may -
went to east coast with
yuanzhen, lydia, lindsay..
timo, tim ang & alvin...
played frisbee at 1st..had a really wonderful time..
laughing n sweating it out..
then we went to cycle..
yuanzhen learned to cycle! yeah!
after that..went to PP for dinner where agnes joined us..

21 may -
went to suntec twice cos i left my phone at home..
went for 1st service n then wk from 11 to 2pm..
after that..gujie drove me home where i got my hp..
then i took the bus to suntec again cos i had to serve 3rd/4th..
so dumb right? travelling twice..haiz...
but anyway..had a good time serving..
managed to talk to 2 ppl..one of which i think is from vj..
shall ask her when i see her again...
it'll be wonderful to see them in campus..
and experience God's love more!
after that went to eat dinner with timo n tim ang..
the rest went to eat dinner with the "L" ppl..
haha..that's amber's term for them...
went to changing appetites where wanyun joined us..
had a great time fellowshipping with them...

Thank You Lord for all these ppl You've placed in my life.
they have really been a blessing to me..
thou i complain a lot..but bcos i'm Your child..
You always put up with me and love me all the same.
i know You have great plans for me..
that's why i'm placed where i am today.
that's why all these ppl are placed in my life..
Lord, teach me how to travel light..
help me put down all these burdens that You never ever meant for me to carry..
that You can use me even more in the way that You meant..
Thank You Lord..
whatever happened..the devil may meant it for evil..
but You'll always turn it around and meant it for good!

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |5:10 PM|

想你 对吗?

想多见到你.
想多听到你的声音.
想多和你说说话.
想多点时间陪你.

想你多注意我.
想你多关心我.
想你多了解我.
想你多照顾我.

但...你知道吗?

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |4:41 PM|
Sunday, May 21, 2006

Psalm 6 – A Prayer of Faith in Time of Distress

1 O LORD, do not rebuke me in Your anger,
Nor chasten me in Your hot displeasure.
2 Have mercy on me, O LORD, for I am weak;
O LORD, heal me, for my bones are troubled.
3 My soul also is greatly troubled;
But You, O LORD – how long?
4 Return, O LORD, deliver me!
Oh, save me for Your mercies' sake!
5 For in death there is no remembrance of You;
In the grave who will give You thanks?
6 I am weary with my groaning;
All night I make my bed to swim;
I drench my couch with my tears.
7 My eye wastes away because of grief;
It grows old because of all my enemies.
8 Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity;
For the LORD has heard the voice of my weeping.
9 The LORD has heard my supplication;
The LORD will receive my prayer.
10 Let all my enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled;
Let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly.

Thank you Lord…
You had already heard my cries and wipe away my tears.
You had received my prayers and I know Your goodness will follow me all the days of my life.
I need not try and be a good daughter or any other role in this earth because You only gave me one role to play – to be a beloved child of Yours.

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |1:09 AM|
Tuesday, May 16, 2006

GIVE THANKS

Give thanks with a grateful heart
Give thanks to the Holy one
Give thanks because He’s given
Jesus Christ, His Son

And now, let the weak say I am strong
Let the poor say I am rich
Because of what the Lord has done for us
Give thanks

献上我感恩的心
归给我圣洁的主
因神将祂子耶稣
赐给我们

如今,凡软弱者得刚强
凡贫穷者得富足
因主为我们撑住一切
感恩
----------------------------------------

I remember that this was my fav song when I first came to know Christ..
Haven sing it for a very long time…
Was reminded of this simple yet meaningful song when Pastor Chin said on sat that
“in everything give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

was feeling really sad n down on fri night cos of things at home and the tough day that I had at work…was just feeling so cold n lonely inside that I started crying...guess I would say of myself as one who will like to out up a brave front..even in front of my parents n sisters…so I was crying to myself on the sofa where I was sleeping…wanted to call counselor A and B (2 of the person I wrote in my book on sat when pastor chin ask us to write down who are the counselors in our lives) but din wanna disturb them cos I thot they were at Ubin..so will be very tired) n I came to the point where I really couldn’t take it that I msged someone to order me to stop crying and go to bed…but then..that didn’t work…
I knew the only one who can stop this crying was God..but I din wanna read the bible..
(cos I dun wanna switch on the lights..anyway cannot see properly when I’m crying…)
and I really dunno what to tell Daddy God except to switch off the tap in my eyes…
started to pray in tongues and thank you Holy Spirit for bringing a calm into me..and leading me to listen to song to get to sleep…dun even know when I stopped crying...just fell asleep cos I was too exhausted from crying I think…

anyway…thou I was feeling much better…my mind was still full of thots n stuff…I dun wanna think about them…but I just can’t help it…so I was asking God to speak to me…
and thou He din answer me directly…I got it from pastor chin’s n pastor prince’s messages on sat n sun….

on sat..pastor chin was sharing about decisions but what I caught wasn’t that…what rally spoke to me was the giving thanks part…dun you wonder how you can still give thanks to God at the peak of all your troubles? Well..pastor said that in everyday lives, in everything we do, we shld turn to the Lord..not only turn to Him during crisis..
the same thing applies to giving thanks..God said in 1 thess..”in everything give thanks”..so in everyday lives..we’ll give thanks to the Lord so often..that even in times of crisis..we’ll also give thanks to the Lord…

then on sun..pastor prince said something about wisdom…
something about the old may not be as wise as the young ones..wisdom have nothing to do with age…wisdom..only comes from God..
it struck me that you know..it’s the answer that I’ve always been searching…
as the youngest in the family..i always wonder why am I the only one who seems to be worrying..or the one who’s thinking about why did they take such actions?
Why in the world does my parents do the things they do? Can’t they think? Dun they know the consequences? Dun they care about how we feel? I know they love me..i’m one of their daughters..but if they love me..why are they doing what they’re doing? Ain’t their actions shouting “I AM STUPID!”? where’s the wisdom that they shld hv?
Besides my parents..my sisters too…sometimes..the things they do puzzled me too…why do they make such a decision when I can clearly see the bad results? Suggestions to them just fall around them…why? Wisdom? Where is it in their lives?
Then I realized that hey..wisdom is not about them…wisdom is about Jesus…
Jesus is wisdom personified…
He is my wisdom..Maybe that’s why I can see the things that they do not…

Ppl will always tell me..
“Jo, you’re very mature and sensible.”
Most of the time..i’ll reply that I had to be…
I have to be in the circumstances that I’m in…
But now I realized...it’s not me at all…
How in the world would I know that I have to study hard?
How in the world would I know that I dun wanna be like any ah lians on the street?
How in the world would I know this is the path God wants me to take?
It’s Wisdom in me.. aka…it’s Jesus in me..
It’s all God’s plan for me…

But then…Lord…why can’t ur wisdom get thru to them and make them see?
They all know You personally…but why aren’t they seeing You?
Holy Spirit…speak to them…There’s nothing I can go except to play sermons out loud for the whole family to hear despite scoldings…only You can speak to the spirit in their flesh…Lord…Do something…

I’ll do the one thing needful now…to give thanks:
THANK YOU DADDY GOD!

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |6:37 PM|
Saturday, May 13, 2006

Public Holiday Meal

Every public holiday that I work
I eat a standard meal
At 10.50am
I walk towards…

Subway
6-inch cold cut trio
Honey oat bread
Lettuce and cucumber
Honey mustard sauce
2 cookies (normally will order double choc)
ice lemon tea

That is my
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner

Isn’t it just wonderful?


Nasty Customer

Think this is the 1st time I’m gg to complain about a customer..
But hey...even my parents won’t scold/talk to me in such a bad manner ok?
She came back with her cd…
Claiming that it’s faulty…
Then she and her husband consecutively barked at me…
How can you all sell faulty stuff?
it’s very wrong…
you better change it for me…
and if it’s spoilt again…
(the above is not word for word..but the next line I QUOTE!!!)
I’ll throw it back at you…

HELLO!!!!!!
We only sell the CDs…
We dun manufacture them…
So what if it’s faulty?
Just have some patience
We’ll definitely change a good one for you…
Why do you have to say such things?

Ironic thing?
Her name’s GRACE
Can’t you be gracious?

Thank God He gave me the ability to not talk back…
Thank you Lord for letting me just smile back at her…
Thank you Lord for presenting good customer service…
And…
Thank you Lord for dying for her on the cross…
So that there is therefore no condemnation…
But Lord…
Dun let me see her again…
and thank you that I dun really remember her face…
Just dun let her tell me her full name…
Cos I still remember…


Ok...enough of venting…
Duno what got over me tonight…

You, name yourself…
Tiredness?
Troubled-ness?
Unhappiness?
Loneliness?

Maybe bcos it’s my 12th consecutive day working?
Maybe bcos I return home to see the words on the wall?
Maybe bcos I return to a home I din really wanna return to?
Maybe bcos I wanted to talk to someone?
Maybe bcos I needed someone to talk to?
Maybe bcos I can’t find anyone to talk to?
Maybe bcos I realized that I can’t find anyone I can really talk to?
Maybe bcos I discovered that I have been living 20 years…
Yet I haven found a friend that I can openly share all that I am thinking?

I know God hears me…
He knows all my thoughts even before I think of them…
So why is God allowing me to think lidat?
Can someone enlighten me?

Lord, why are You letting me ask
“why am I born in this family?” again?

HELP! HELP! HELP!
JESUS, I NEED YOU!

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |3:03 PM|
Sunday, May 07, 2006

我长大了吗?

Was actually writing in Chinese when I was suddenly disconnected…
& so all my 辛辛苦苦 typed Chinese entry is gone…
Dun feel like typing them all over again…
So shall change to English version…

Have I grown up?

20th birthday is over ard 2 months ago…
My 1st year in university is also over…
Soon…I’ll be entering into my 2nd year in NTU…

So what have I done in this one year that just flew by?
What have I learned in this one year that just flew by?

Entering NTU…I made a lot of friends…
In SCI…
In Hall 13…
In Jap classes…
In church esp. NTU cg
Some of them are friends whom I love to be with…
Like yuanhong, camellia, aveline, liting and xuelin…
Like wenting, susan and yanyin…
Like God’s wonderful princesses – yuanzhen, wanyun, agnes…
And His wonderful princes – timo, alvin, louis…
But then…there are some whom seem to not know you after the term has ended…
They dun even smile at you when you walk pass them…
Can’t you smile back at me? It’ll only take a split second to smile…

Entering NTU…
I also acquire a lot of knowledge…
With regards to school work…research is a must…
Hence the need to know more and more…
It’s of course good…I really know more now…
But it’s not enough…
I’m still lost when ppl discuss stuff…
I need to know more…
Not only so that I know what’s going on in class…
But also to have more things to write in exams…
Learning Jap was a wise decision cos I enjoyed it…
Will cont if I get a good grade for level 1…

Entering NTU…
I live away from home…
I grew more independent…
Though there isn’t really much of a difference…
Cos I’m independent way before I entered NTU…
Freedom is never an issue to me…cos my parents dun care…
So the freedom that most ppl say hall provides dun really apply to me…

Besides the above…
In this one year…

I grew to be more interested in politics…
Maybe cos the election is this year…
But hey..i cant vote…not yet 21…
No progress package…
But I start to take interest…
About how the govt works n stuff associated to it…

I grew to want to know more details about God…
In the past…I just needed to know that God loves me…
That is enough already…
But this year…I wanna know what exactly happened…
Why did such a thing happen in the bible?
Why these phrases mean this or that?
Which translation will help me better understand the bible?
It’s not a something a child will ask I think...(thou there might be exceptions)

But then…

I realized that I want more n more love…
From my family…
From my friends…
From a certain someone(I duno who yet la…)

What is love?
Timo was sharing a little about it during cg…
He asked this: How do you know that God loves you?
For me…
I think I know He loves me cos He provides for me…
takes care of me…
have ppl ard me to encourage/bless me…
and most imptly…He gave His Son, Jesus, up for me…

“For God so LOVED the world, that He gave His only Begotten Son, that whosoever believe in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.”
- John 3:16
why is it ‘LOVED’ and not ‘LOVE’ ?
you mean He dun love us now?
No!!! take your time to think about it…
See that there’s a “THAT” behind?
It’s bcos Jesus had already died for us…
God LOVED us then so much that that He gave His Son for us…
But because Jesus had already died for us…
There is no more need for God to love us so much in the same way…
God now so LOVES the world…
But there’s no need for Jesus to die a 2nd time…
That’s why God used “LOVED” in the verse…
(if you dun understand…call me…cos I duno how to write it in simpler terms…)

Anyway…
There’s always ppl asking…
Do you wanna love marry a guy who loves you more…
Or you love him more…
Well...i’ll choose to love him more…
Guess it’s just me…as long as I can see the person I love…
It already feels great…
But honestly…
Word of advice…
Find a guy who loves God more…
That’s an even more secure marriage…

Ok…………………………………………………
Enough of my nonsense…
Shall go to sleep soon….
Came home at ard 130am after cg on fri…
Almost got scolded by papa n mummy…
But thank God they didn’t…hee…
Why was I so late?
Cos we all went out to chompchomp to eat after cg…
But no worries…
cos I got a shepherd n a fellow sheep who were commanded by wanyun to take care of me…so shepherd send me back home after letting the other sheep alight…
thanks shepherd….so sweet of you…cos think you will send me back even if wanyun nv command you to…haha…cos it’s 1AM!!! You wont let me take cab myself…

And now..it’s 3am le!
Haha…shall go sleep le…
Tmr got work again…

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beLoVeD jkMy out
@ |6:01 PM|